Valuing the happiness

Some of the parameters for evaluating a commodity are the importance that it holds for us and the ease or rather difficulty in obtaining it. If that is indeed the case, then does it not make the happiness of a poor more valuable than the happiness of a rich.

The other day, I watched a kid playing on the road side while walking past by a 'Kacchi basti'. I can't recall how he looked like. But I do remember an image of a little boy wearing nothing but shorts, his chest white with mud and many other things. I also remember his laugh while he was running.

And I also remember thinking how similar and different his happiness is with mine. Similarity lies in the state of mind at that moment- carefree, devoid of any other thoughts, living in the moment. And the difference lies in the reason that makes him happy.

Two Extremes of Indian Life

I have seen the two extremes of the Indian life in 2 days. While going from Jamshedpur to Ranchi, I saw the poverty of the state of Jharkhand. And today in PVR Saket, I saw the opulence of Delhi. After the scenes of yesterday, today there was a slight guilt at the way money flows around. The latter India seemed unaware about the existence of the former one. The latter one gives the foundation for the illusion that India is shining, literally too with all the lightings in the mall against the absence of the electric poles in the former.

By the way, tomorrow is the first day of my job. A new phase of life starts now. At the end of the thesis, I took some resolutions regarding this phase. And I hope that this time, against the norm, I wont break them.

I hate eating alone

One part of being alone that I dislike most is eating alone. I totally hate it. More so if I am eating in my mess or canteen or in some restaurant. I can manage it at home but not elsewhere. I do make many adjustments just to have some company. Sometimes I used to go to mess with my friends even if I wasn't hungry just so that I am not left alone afterwards and have some company while eating. But sadly, the friends that are left don't have a great faith in regular dietary habits. Though I have been successful in making one of them go to breakfast with me everyday. But lunching and dining time has gone in disarray.

I actually used to feel the same way about living alone. I used to hate it. I needed someone's company at every time. Even while studying. Sometimes, I even used to take my books along with me and go to a friend's room. And most of the times, I used to end up sleeping in their bed. As I write this, some fond memories of my fifth year are resurfacing. There was a period when I ended up sleeping in Saucy's bed every evening. Poor creature had to adjust a lot :) .

Man, I am really missing that time those days. This is somewhat a sad ending to the otherwise most joyous and happening time 5 years of my life. I would cherish those days for ever.

Time for a reunion

Last 3 days were very enjoyable. We had a small reunion at the college with some of the wingmates that passed out from the campus last year. So as expected, there were long gossip sessions, parties, phatta, movies and more gossip sessions. There is no better way of passing away time than sitting with the best of your friends, talking non sense most of the times, making fun of some of them and getting laughed at some other times.

On saturday, after reading the rave reviews that 3 Idiots got, we went to see it. Some of the people around me had called it a must watch. So away we went. The first half of the movie was truly awesome. We saw how replacing 'chamatkar' with 'balatkar' and 'dhan' with 'stan' can invoke huge laughters from the crowd. But the second half got too melodramatic, something very distinctive of the bollywood movies. But in all, it remains a good movie. In fact, its one of the better ones that came this year. The movie intended to give many messages but I took these 2. First, I should have given a better try to my engineering studies. Second, one should go to Laddakh during one's life time. Its monastries and landscape are just wondrous.

After 3 days of fun, we are back to the earlier boring routing. The semster would start fom Dec 31. Till then I plan to waste all the time.

Employed

Past 15 days were relentless and hectic. With all the preparations and apprehensions for the placements, it was really very tiring. But finally, I am employed. Its such a great relief to be able to again sleep late in the morning, to be able to again spend time gossiping, to be able to again go all the way to the hall 8 canteen for the dinners and to be able to give time to blog.

I would be joining ZS Associate. Its an American consultancy firm which focuses on sales and marketing and has a very big clientele in the biotech and pharmaceutical sector. The operations in India though are at a nascent stage. And with that, it is almost an end of my association with Computer Science. Almost because I still have a thesis to defend.

I am happy that I would not end up in a cubicle writing codes. But some part of me still feels that after having spent last 4-5 years of life in this field, I should have given a try to the core. Atleast once. In fact, to start with, I prepared only for the core companies. I had ZS in my mind but never thought that I would actually end up working for it. Since it was open to all the departments and all the programs, the chances looked sleek to me. But surprisingly and happily, I cleared the test, GD and three rounds of interviews with ease. And once I was done, I knew that I had a realistic chance of getting selected.

Placement time is a crazy time. People sometimes end up in companies where they didn't want to go. And in this regards, I consider myself lucky. The job is good, salary is good and the experience would come very handy if I ever apply for the MBA in the future.

I would be joining in Gurgaon at the end of coming June. After the results were announced, we had an informal meeting with the company officials and we were told to complete all our coursework on time. So that means that I would really have to gear up my thesis work next semester. I still haven't started doing anything right now. Right now, I am taking a break. I am sleeping, watching movies and desperately looking for some good books to read. It would take me at least 2-3 days more to again get going.

A gift to my sister

There is something about festivals that just don't let me study. This diwali, I had to resist myself from going home because I have some really important things to study but even one day before it, I don't feel like studying. I have entered the festive mode so no studies for me for 2 days. Though I would still keep trying to get myself to study but seeing my past record, I won't bet on myself.

Today, I purchased a birthday gift for my little sister (she is just 2 years younger than me but I still like using this adjective). I bought her 'The God of Small Things'. Its a gem of a book. Superb, marvellous, fascinating. A must read. I hope to induce a reading habit in her. I know that she would read it. Its a birthday gift. She adores her gifts. I think she has kept all her gifts and cards which were ever given to her by anyone, till date. I like this thing about girls. They value things. And more importantly, they are so perspicuous and forthright to express that they value things that you present that you feel good to have given them the present. On the contrary, boys don't express themselves so freely and clearly. They withhold their emotions. Sometimes.

I have couriered the gift to her along with a card today so it would reach her by the day before her birthday. One more thing that makes this gift a bit special is that its the first gift I have bought her with my salary. All these years I had promised to flood her with gifts once I start earning. And now I am happy to have fulfilled it. Its nothing lavish this time as I am still to take a job. But it is good for a beginning. Fifth year rocks. M Tech. stipend rocks :).

Tommorrow is Diwali. On this eve, I wish you all a happy and a prosperous year. I wish you all, A HAPPY DIWALI.

Started a new blog

I took Saucy's suggestion and have started a new blog. It has a restricted access and hence no one will be able to read it. I might invite some friends later but as of now, I have no such plans. I have named it 'My Diary'. Its because I actually want this blog to be my diary and also because I didn't have any other name at that time in my mind. I am really very unimaginative. Especially when it comes to naming things.

Coming to the blog, the very fact that no one else could read what I write just encourages me to write down everything that I had wanted to write. Sometimes I need to write to be able to think. Writing helps me organize my thoughts. It sometimes also helps me develop a perspective. Hence, the fact that I would write down nearly everything could prabably help me. At least that is what I think.

By the way, I spent my complete day watching the India, Sri Lanka match. It really was a wastage of time. But I am happy that it wasn't a complete waste. India won and that is actually a great consolation.

I have also registered for CAT. But I really haven't prepared anything till now for the exam. So I am not too hopeful. But in any case, I do intend to study before writing the exam. I really hate when I don't score well. Even when I haven't studied.

From tomorrow onwards, I'll start preparing for it. I have decided to give at least one exam, available on Career Launcher's website, daily. And I'll also study the associated chapters from the CL's study material. I don't know at this point of time whether I actually want to do an MBA or not. But nonetheless, I'll prepare for it. Wish me luck.

Being a teaching assistant

Things have changed so much in the fifth year. Today is the last day of the first mid semester exams. We just have 1 course to do (besides thesis) in this semester. And that also has just 1 mid sem exam which is scheduled in mid September. So there were no exams for me this time. And hence there is no post mid sem fun. But this doesn't imply that I was left free this time. Since, I am a teaching assistant of a course, I'd to do invigilation during the exam. And I also had to check the exam copies of the students.

It was a nice experience to be on the other side of the examination process for a change. But when you have to check 170 odd copies, then it becomes a pain. The question which I had to check involved writing a pseudo code for an algorithm and doing its complexity analysis. So I'd to read the pseudo codes. And the more incorrect the solution is, more difficult it becomes to check. Because then you have to make sure that there is no way this solution could actually work. And you also have to point out why the solution is not working. And you also have to go through the complexity analysis of a faulty code. Now I know why teachers like good students. Its because their papers are easiest to check.

But its a good learning experience to check copies. You start realizing what kind of answers should be provided. You realize what should be written and how should it be written. I was also reminising while checking the papers. I think that I might have given some real tough time to my examiners.

To anyone reading this post, there is a request that please be considerate to your examiners. Improve your writing, write clearly leaving spaces and if you don't know the answer atleast don't write things which are given in the question. It does more harm than good. Believe me.

Back to Campus

(Yamuna during sunsent)

Does it happen with me or with everyone else that the thing for which you are excited and are so eagerly looking forward to always get spoilt. The more excited you get, bigger gets the spoiler. This has happened to me so many times that I now force myself not to get excited. But in the process, I think about it so much that excitement though not apparently visible boils inside me all the while.

This time I was so much excited to see Sangam. I wanted to see the confluence of Ganga and Yamnua which merge together to form Triveni. But alas, there was no Ganga. I know it sounds incredulous but its true. The flow of Ganga has been stopped by some dam upstream. So there was just Yamuna. All those people downstream who believe that they are actually taking a dip in Ganga are getting cheated. Its just Yamuna there. Ganga has been stopped. You could see its river bed at Sangam.

But nevertheless, Allahabad visit was great. Nothing can substitute Ganga. But Yamuna with its green water makes up for the deficit. The rivers always beckon me. Its so soothing to see that great a mass flowing in unison. But at the same time it is also intimidating for its flow can uproot you.

The flow of the Yamuna is gentle in the great plains. So you cant hear the water flowing as you would upstream. I would have loved to hear that sound. I could imagine myself lying beside a river on a moonless night with nothing but that sound as my companion for the night. I have infact breiefly but closely realized this imagination. It was during our visit to Sikkim. It was night time and river Teesta was flowing at some distance from our accomodation and I was standing there by the wall facing Teesta, unable to see it but still feeling the presence of its water through the sound. I led her water enchant me. It was just so comforting and so magical.

Besides Yamuna and Sangam, we went to see Swaraj Bhawan and Anand Bhawan, the home to Jawaharlal Nehru and Indira Gandhi. They are now museums with many pics of the Nehru family, depicting their jouney during the coarse of their struggle for Independence. There was one pic of Mahatma Gandhi with other Congress men in which he was wearing a suit and was so unlike the stereotypical Gandhi we have in our minds that it was really difficult to recognize him. Believe me, if you are given a photo of him which is not in his loin cloth, then you will not be able to recognize him.

In all Allahabad visit provided me the change that I had been seeking since a long time. So after 2 days at Allahabad and 4 days at home, I am back to the campus for the new semester. We also have first yearites in our hall this time. So I'm looking forward for some 'informal interaction' with them in the coming days.

Off to Allahabad

Finally I am getting out of Kanpur for a week. I am going to Allahabad tomorrow with a friend. The train leaves at around 6 in the morning. That means we will have to get ready by 5. And that can happen only if we don't sleep tonight.

I had wanted to go to Allahabad and Varanasi since quite a long time. I want to see Ganga there. Not because of some religious beliefs but because there is something about her that mesmerizes me. Ganga and Ganga ghats. I have seen them at Haridwar, Rishikesh and Kanpur. And all the experiences were different.

At Haridwar, the ghats are always flooded with the people. We went there on the occasion of Buddha Poornima. So the numbers were much greater and so was the impact. It really is a spectacle to see people in that great number. You can just stand there doing nothing but just watching the people. Some are there for the last rites and some are there to celebrate the birth- the first mundan. Some are tourists like me who are attracted as much by the river and the temple as by the people.

There is an evening aarti everyday at Har Ki Pauri. You can see fire against the backdrop of water. Its just splendid. The mornings are no less eventful. I took a dip in the Ganga in the morning. Even on that hot summer day, the water was cold and in the end, I would say that it was a courageous act :P .

Ghats at Rishikesh are much more peaceful. Here the backdrop is different. It now has mountains and tall trees. And then there are these narrows streets with sidelanes originating unexpectedly. The atmosphere there just forces you to leave everything and go for a backpacking.

In Kanpur, there is a Ganga ghat at Bithoor. Unlike Haridwar and Rishikesh, it is not abuzzed with people. The flow of the river is quite gentle.(The pic below is of Bithoor ghat)

But the view of Ganga is still incomplete for me until I can see her at Sangam and at Varanasi. Along with Haridwar, Sangam is the most pious pilgrimage for the Hindus. My friend says that one should make a point to see it during a Kumbh mela. At that time, Allahabad becomes the most populous city of the world.(Below is a pic of Sangam that I found on Flickr)

Below is a picture of the Varanasi ghat taken on a morning. I found it on Flickr. This single pic has left me craving to go to Varanasi. I don't think that I would be able to go to Varanasi this time but I do know that I will go there some time or the other.

Its 4 in the morning, so I should start my packing now. I will write again with the details of my Allahabad visit.

An excursion to facebook

Last night I spent around 2 hours on the facebook. Its really the thing these days. Orkut has become passe. Everyone is now coming to facebook. Earlier surge in the traffic to facebook was because it was more secure. On orkut, you could just see all the details and photographs of all the people. And by people, I really mean girls. It used to be our wing's recreational activities during the exams. A bunch of us, visiting albums and rating girls(I am over those days now). There were many communities devoted specifically for this task. But then, orkut implemented all those privacy restrictions and the visitors have been declining ever since. Many of them have switched over to facebook. I am not sure whether they realize that orkut is more safer than facebook these days. There are many bugs in facebook and some of its applications can infect your computer.

Just coming back to last night's excusion to facebook. I really don't like facebook that much. With all those upadates and games, its so much cluttered up. Then there are those weird requests. There is a request to gift some flowers, there is some person who is giving me his mafia loots and there is a person who wants me to be a PETA fan. And to top it, there are these weird applications. 'Which friends character are you ?'. 'When would you die?'. 'What kind of lover are you?'. 'What would be the first letter of your lover's name?'. 'How will you meet your lover?'. 'When would you meet your lover ?'. 'When was you lover born?'. Just so much of rubbish to deal with. And its really surprising to see the number of people that take these kind of quizzes. It seems as if the whole world is running here and there in search of their true love. I am sure even they realize that its not how they would find it. Some people do it for fun. Some others do it out of curiosity. However vague or absurd the results may be, atleast there are some results. Then there are some wise people, enlightning others with their wise one liners. There are some others who provide us with their daily details.

And then there are some addicts who give their hourly detail. You know what is their favourite colour, who is there favourite actor or actress, how much mark did they score in their exams, where did they go last evening. They are living their second life there. I really admire these social networking sites. Afterall it has reduced my telephone bills, it has put me into contacts with those long lost friends whom otherwise I would have never met. Then there are communities that you can use to build some connections. And most impotantly, it gives you a space to express yourself. But I just don't like spilling each and every detail about your life. And I definitely don't like all these requests. Thats why I like orkut. You login, check your scraps, message someone if you have to, wish someone on his birthday and log out. Plain and simple. Thats how I like it.

Empty Mind - A Devil's Workshop

Its high time I need to do something constructive. Sleeping, preparing myself for sleeping, gaming, roaming and movies are not turning out to be sufficient enough to pass 24 hours of a day. It leaves me with a hell lot of time. I have begun to think over things that I have never thought upon till now. Thoughts that are totally unrelated. And in these thoughts I am constructing an alternate universe. A universe in which I am perfect and everything is well and fine. May be I should start organizing these thoughts. Who knows that one day I may come up with my version of Alice in Wonderland.

Thesis work is long due but I am still not feeling like working on it. I have also delayed the CAT and placement preparation. I have realized that my locus of control lies outside me. I really need someone else to control my action. At home, it used to be Mummy. Now, there is no one. But I am looking for that someone.

These summers are turning out to be one of the most boring phase of my life. I am looking for some good books to read. I am also thinking of writing that short story that I have been meaning to write since eternity. I also feel like writing the next poem. I am also thinking of penning down my experiences of the past 4 years. Damn it! I am again confused. I need to direct my energy in one direction. But where to direct it ? I think, I'll decide that later. Till then, all I have is Avril and Clint Eastwood.

One blog a day

Two days to go to the exams. The situation remains the same. In fact, I have now decided to write a blog every day(what a great time indeed to frame and implement new rules). I had always liked to write regularly and the only way I think I could achieve this is to make it a rule. And I think that even this much would count as a blog(so much for my rule).

Time to sign off. Bye. And if you happen to read it before 7th Feb, do wish me good luck for my exams. 

Exams are back

Exams are back. Just 4 days from now. And like all other exams that I have given during my stay at IITK, I am least prepared for this one also. And I am still not feeling any tension. Advanced Graph algorithms, Probability & Statistics  and Computational Geometry can try all the weapons in their arsenal but I know that none of them can make me study. In fact, every time exams come, I acquire some new habits. And as soon as the exam would end, these things would no longer remain my habits. Every evening, I am playing squash. I am reading articles and news more often than usual. And I am also reading English August. And the book is so cool that I really dont feel as if I am wasting my time by not studying. And the best part is that it happens every time. I am sure that most of the books I have read have been read before the exams, most of the serials and movies I have watched have been watched before the exams.

Well its just the second midsems. As I always say, endsems are still there to make up the things.

Rab Ne Bana Di Jodi...

"Which movie to watch yaar?" .
"We are planning to see The Day the Earth Stood Still".
We then looked at the trailer of the movie. Another one of that hollywood Sci - Fi s. Wanting for something new, I suggested Rab Ne Bana Di Jodi (Yes, I confess, it was me who suggested the movie). The trailer looked nice. SRK with new look, a seedha-sadha worker of Punjab Power. Then suddenly appears the much recognized and common version of him. We read the plot, we read some reviws. One of the post had compared this movie with DDLJ(I really felt like killing that SOB while watching the movie). It looked all okay and hence we gambled to watch this movie.
Since, it was the first day, we decided to go a bit early so as to book the ticket(Now, that was Kush's advice; not my fault there). There were 4 of us. Me, Kush, Lava and Guruji. We reached there by 7:30 and the show was to begin at 9:45. We had two hours to pass. We decided to go to some shops first. Guruji had to purchase some deo for himself. We went to Big Bazaar. Lava, like usual days started chatting on the telephone. We three strolled for some time but ended up empty handed without buying anything. After sometime, all four of us were back in the entrance hall, without knowing what to do. We still had hour and a half to waste, but no avenues for that. We then sat on the stone benches, "innocently" watching the passerbyes. This is the time when I hate being in Kanpur most. The mall full of people but still looking barren. Now and then, we sometime got to see some silver linings in this dark cloud but it was mostly boring. After sometime, we decided to to ate some food. We went to the food court, made our orders and then sat. This was all we could do. The court was again barren. We sat, we ate, we strolled, we chatted and somehow time passed. The show was about to begin. We headed towards the theatre. And suddenly, we found more interesting crowd. Apparently, the movie ticket had turned out to be a filter. All I would like to say is that the average feminine beauty on this side was more than the other. We went inside the hall but little did we know what fate had in store for us that evening.
The movie started. Everything was going fine. SRK was not his usual self and Anushka was looking fabulous. Now what more could we have asked for. But then, like something inevitable the movie took the natural course that all SRK movies(especially in the recent years) are destined to take. SRK back with funky T-Shirts, horrible colours. As the time was passing, Guruji who was to my right was becoming more and more restless. Poor soul, I pity him. One of the most vehement critic of the hindi movies was there with us, watching SRK movie. At this point of time, the only consolation that we had wasa Anushka. I know I have said this earlier but I 'll again say, that she was looking so gorgeous. Then came a string of songs, as always inserted without necessity. And there were we, four of us, sitting side by side, looking at each other. There were times when we were laughing, sometime because of the movie and most of the time, at the movie. It was then that I realize, why India sees highest number of movies being released every year. Apparently, the essential plot of all the movies remains the same. Only work done is that of finding a suitable screenplay, a suitable setting and some picturesque locations. Even the dialogues remain the same. After some time, one can even predict the course of the movie. Full care is being taken so as not to stress the mind of the audience with some thrilling plots or a novel story. Sometimes in between the movie, SRK cried and the crowd was crying with him. But there we were, four of us, sitting side by side, looking at each other, laughing hysterically at the movie and not by the movie. Ankur was fully frustrated. The poor chap was sitting at the rightmost seat in the beginning. The seat to the right of him was empty and remained so for quite a long time. And he was highly optimistic(I will personally call it unrealistic) about having a feminine companion while watching supposedly romantic SRK movies. He eventually ended up having a group of guys sitting beside him. The frustration inside him was rising, sometimes venting out in form of some swear words for Kush(He thought that Kush was the one who suggested the movie and I was more than happy with him thinking that).
I was actually enjoying everything. Not always you have all your friends sitting together making fun of something. The dis-staisfaction was a glue which bound us together. But then came the moment which really pushed us to our limit. There was SRK fightig a sumo wrestler, wanting to impress his wife. Needless to say, who will win the fight when its between SRK and a sumo wrestler. Then was when I started thinking what better use could I have made with the money that I had spent at the movie. I was just wondering, how four intelligent, rational and level headed guys(Yeah, its my blog and I'll take full liberty in choosing suitable adjectives) could end up watching the SRK movie and that too on the first day. It was in fact the only SRK movie for which I had pad after Dil To Pagal Hai.
But then, somehow, after what I felt like an eternity, the movie ended(obviously with a happy ending). We were the first one to get out of theatre. We had to wait sometime for the auto but finally we were there inside our dear campus. Howsoever, I may complain or fret about the movie, I actually had a nice time with my friends.
Lesson that I learnt. 1) Dont watch SRK movies on day 1. (2) Dont watch SRK movies at all. Anushka is looking real good in the movie, but if you take my advice, its still not worth watching the complete movie.