Thursday, January 6, 2011

Understanding love

The whole world seems to be running behind love. But do we understand what actually is it ? Many times, we confuse it with infatuation or in some other cases, very strong attraction.

'I Love You'. These are some of the most overused words. And more often than not, they seem vague, unsubstantiated by the feelings. And even when there are feelings, they lack depth or concrete meaning. They seem to be borne of that one instant when emotions take control of the thinking brain.

So what is love? When can you say that you are in love? A simple test that I can think of is when you value the happiness of the other person more than yours, then you can say that you are in love. Thus, love is the perfect antonym of selfishness. Love is unselfishness.

Every relationship plays a different role in completing you as a person. The father provides you the comfort and security. The mother cares for you, teaches you the meaning of love. The sibling shares with you that joyful experience of growing up.

And then there is a lover, with whom you share things that you can't share with anyone else. She is the person who is privy to your most intimate secrets. She is the person whom you want to talk to when you don't want to talk to anyone else. She is the one who makes you feel empowered by giving you control over her life. She is the one to whom you want to surrender. She is the one to whom you make love, a moment as intimate or private as there can be. She is the one who completes you as a man.

Do I have a lover? No. But I do have love. I love my mother, my father and my sister beyond measures. And I can't think of any other person right now whom I can love as much as I love them. But I do hope to find the lover in my life. I need that lover in my life. And I would preserve those 3 words till the day I realize I have passed that test.