Saturday, May 30, 2009

Years of joy

After four years, the dream finally ended and the eyes opened. Yes, it was a dream. There were no worries, no obligations, no duties. Just some simple and plain fun. Pranks played, jokes made, people teased. There were some wake up calls every now and then. But the sleep was too pleasant to get disturbed by these small interruptions. But the dream had to end. We knew it since the beginning. But we never realized it till the end. Not till the first of us went away. A glass broke and the pieces were scattered. And then suddenly there was emptiness. The sanctuary had been disturbed. The restlessness set in. New abode had to be found.

Some relationships are like a canvas painting. One new hand of paint and the old identity is lost. Some others are like a writing on a sand at a sea shore. With each wave, the words diminish and after some time they are forgotten. But some others are like monuments. They remain intact. You cherish its beauty. You remember it every now and then. What we build over these four years was a monument. A memorabilia for the lifetime.

Over the years, things were learned, perspectives were developed. And all this while, there was an assurance that there is someone by your side. They might not always be with you. But you can feel their presence. Its soothes you, comforts you to know that there are people who matter to you and to whom you matter, people who would bail you out in the most difficult of your times.

There were times good and bad. There were parties and there were altercations. But then, that is what life is all about. And that is what we learned. We came as boys and are now leaving as men ready to face the world ahead. And at this time of separation, the hearts are heavy. But we are determined to stay in touch. The reunions are discussed and planned. But not every plan could be materialized. People do get busy in their own life. This could well be the last time we were seeing some of them. The years of joy have finally come to an end.

Wednesday, May 27, 2009

Empty Mind - A Devil's Workshop

Its high time I need to do something constructive. Sleeping, preparing myself for sleeping, gaming, roaming and movies are not turning out to be sufficient enough to pass 24 hours of a day. It leaves me with a hell lot of time. I have begun to think over things that I have never thought upon till now. Thoughts that are totally unrelated. And in these thoughts I am constructing an alternate universe. A universe in which I am perfect and everything is well and fine. May be I should start organizing these thoughts. Who knows that one day I may come up with my version of Alice in Wonderland.

Thesis work is long due but I am still not feeling like working on it. I have also delayed the CAT and placement preparation. I have realized that my locus of control lies outside me. I really need someone else to control my action. At home, it used to be Mummy. Now, there is no one. But I am looking for that someone.

These summers are turning out to be one of the most boring phase of my life. I am looking for some good books to read. I am also thinking of writing that short story that I have been meaning to write since eternity. I also feel like writing the next poem. I am also thinking of penning down my experiences of the past 4 years. Damn it! I am again confused. I need to direct my energy in one direction. But where to direct it ? I think, I'll decide that later. Till then, all I have is Avril and Clint Eastwood.

Tuesday, May 19, 2009

Catcher in the Rye

Have you ever been in a state of purposelessness. Well I have been. In fact at this very moment when I am writing this post, I am. The aims are well within the sight. But I don't have any motivation to go for them. These days I dont have any zest left for reading, writing or studying. I am facing each day as it comes, without any plan or routine. I am testing the limits of procrastination. I am trying to avoid my work and in the process I am doing things randomly. Sometimes I am reading a novel, some other time I am lying on my bed listening to my favourite playlist and some other time I am watching some random sitcom. May be its the summer that is causing this. Or may be this is me. Wouldn't it have been wonderful if things remain the way they are. Why do they have to change? Why do we have to harbour an ambition? Why do one has to become an engineer or a doctor or a banker? May be because otherwise life would be dull and boring. May be that is where the real fun lies. But I am not getting that fun. If given an option, I would just like to be a catcher in the rye.