Saturday, September 19, 2009
A lost connection
There is a veil between it and me. In fact I think that its a hard sheath. I feel as if I have lost a connection with it. I tried probing it but it remained elusive. I asked it what it wants but it didn't answer. I kept on doing things senselessly. It remained a muted spectator. I damaged myself. It didn't stop. I got driven by my desires. It didn't forbid me. I got selfish. It didn't criticize me. I got complacent. It din't prod me. I put matter over mind but it didn't retaliate. And now, I don't think I know it any more. But it knows me. It sees me. It just prefers not to talk.
Tuesday, September 15, 2009
Started a new blog
I took Saucy's suggestion and have started a new blog. It has a restricted access and hence no one will be able to read it. I might invite some friends later but as of now, I have no such plans. I have named it 'My Diary'. Its because I actually want this blog to be my diary and also because I didn't have any other name at that time in my mind. I am really very unimaginative. Especially when it comes to naming things.
Coming to the blog, the very fact that no one else could read what I write just encourages me to write down everything that I had wanted to write. Sometimes I need to write to be able to think. Writing helps me organize my thoughts. It sometimes also helps me develop a perspective. Hence, the fact that I would write down nearly everything could prabably help me. At least that is what I think.
By the way, I spent my complete day watching the India, Sri Lanka match. It really was a wastage of time. But I am happy that it wasn't a complete waste. India won and that is actually a great consolation.
I have also registered for CAT. But I really haven't prepared anything till now for the exam. So I am not too hopeful. But in any case, I do intend to study before writing the exam. I really hate when I don't score well. Even when I haven't studied.
From tomorrow onwards, I'll start preparing for it. I have decided to give at least one exam, available on Career Launcher's website, daily. And I'll also study the associated chapters from the CL's study material. I don't know at this point of time whether I actually want to do an MBA or not. But nonetheless, I'll prepare for it. Wish me luck.
Coming to the blog, the very fact that no one else could read what I write just encourages me to write down everything that I had wanted to write. Sometimes I need to write to be able to think. Writing helps me organize my thoughts. It sometimes also helps me develop a perspective. Hence, the fact that I would write down nearly everything could prabably help me. At least that is what I think.
By the way, I spent my complete day watching the India, Sri Lanka match. It really was a wastage of time. But I am happy that it wasn't a complete waste. India won and that is actually a great consolation.
I have also registered for CAT. But I really haven't prepared anything till now for the exam. So I am not too hopeful. But in any case, I do intend to study before writing the exam. I really hate when I don't score well. Even when I haven't studied.
From tomorrow onwards, I'll start preparing for it. I have decided to give at least one exam, available on Career Launcher's website, daily. And I'll also study the associated chapters from the CL's study material. I don't know at this point of time whether I actually want to do an MBA or not. But nonetheless, I'll prepare for it. Wish me luck.
Friday, September 11, 2009
These things I'll Never Say
After Beatles and The Nightwatchman, its the Avril time now. I am having her songs played all day on my music player. And of all the songs "These things I'll never say" remains my favourite. I find this song very jubilant and cheerful. You can find an acoustic version on YouTube.
Its so true, isn't it. And here I am not just talking about not being able to say what you feel to someone you like. Even in general, there are many things that we want to say. But we can't. We don't. And may be we shouldn't. Not always.
This thinking of mine is an evidence of our mentality in general. Our here refers to we people who share the same cultural background. It is almost considered a virtue if we keep things to our self, if we avoid confrontations. The situation is so much different in the West (here my observation is restricted to US culture). I see this in the English TV serials. And I also felt it when I was in NY last year. People there just speak up whatever is there in their mind. And other people don't mind it. At least not for too long. But we do. I do and I did and its because we are not used to such blatant expressions of our thoughts.
I am not making any comparisons as to what is good or what is bad. Sometimes its important to keep things to our self lest it causes some irreparable damages. And some other times, its important to speak up your mind. Otherwise these things start to eat you from inside.
We do have our outlets to vent out our latent exasperations from time to time. Sometimes we talk about them, sometimes we write about them. I would like to write about many such things. But then there are many things that I wouldn't share with everyone. And thus there remains many things that I'll never say, to anyone.
Its so true, isn't it. And here I am not just talking about not being able to say what you feel to someone you like. Even in general, there are many things that we want to say. But we can't. We don't. And may be we shouldn't. Not always.
This thinking of mine is an evidence of our mentality in general. Our here refers to we people who share the same cultural background. It is almost considered a virtue if we keep things to our self, if we avoid confrontations. The situation is so much different in the West (here my observation is restricted to US culture). I see this in the English TV serials. And I also felt it when I was in NY last year. People there just speak up whatever is there in their mind. And other people don't mind it. At least not for too long. But we do. I do and I did and its because we are not used to such blatant expressions of our thoughts.
I am not making any comparisons as to what is good or what is bad. Sometimes its important to keep things to our self lest it causes some irreparable damages. And some other times, its important to speak up your mind. Otherwise these things start to eat you from inside.
We do have our outlets to vent out our latent exasperations from time to time. Sometimes we talk about them, sometimes we write about them. I would like to write about many such things. But then there are many things that I wouldn't share with everyone. And thus there remains many things that I'll never say, to anyone.
Wednesday, September 2, 2009
A beggar free Delhi
The world is not a right place to live in for those who don't have money. For long, its laws have been dictated by those who have money, by those who have power. Whether its a country, or a corporation or just a man, if you have power, you can make the world work on your terms. You can make your own laws. You can give your own judgements.
In the wake of the commonwealth games, it has been decided to make Delhi beggar free. Apparently, these beggars are a nuisance for the city. They don't give the right picture of the capital of this great nation. Hence, to make things right, they would be removed from the city. An adult caught begging would be sent to a jail. The children would be sent to juvenile homes. Consideration would however be shown to those who are caught for the first time for begging.
The people from the lowest economic strata and those who don't have any economy have always been dispensable. Most of these people are the migrants from the rural areas who are forced to come to the cities because of the fewer opportunities for earnings back home. This situation has aroused because of the continuous neglect of these rural areas by one government after the other. The major chunk of our resources are poured into the cities. And hence it is but natural for people to migrate there.
But the government has shown the intent that they are not keen on entertaining these people if they can't find themselves a source of living. It would have really called for some mammoth efforts to eradicate poverty from the city. Hence the government took a shortcut. They have instead start eradicating the poor.
It just leaves me wondering at the selfishness and hypocrisy of the affluent class. We want a clean city, a green city, a beggar less city for ourselves. We want the cheap labours at our home and industries. But we don't want the slums where they live. Its as if the mere reason for the existence of the poor in this country is to subsidize the life of the rich. We don't want their problems. We only want their services.
I just wish that the government reconsiders its decision. I agree that it is important to portray a nice picture of our country to the rest of the world. But do we want it at the expense of life of 1 lakh people. Think.
In the wake of the commonwealth games, it has been decided to make Delhi beggar free. Apparently, these beggars are a nuisance for the city. They don't give the right picture of the capital of this great nation. Hence, to make things right, they would be removed from the city. An adult caught begging would be sent to a jail. The children would be sent to juvenile homes. Consideration would however be shown to those who are caught for the first time for begging.
The people from the lowest economic strata and those who don't have any economy have always been dispensable. Most of these people are the migrants from the rural areas who are forced to come to the cities because of the fewer opportunities for earnings back home. This situation has aroused because of the continuous neglect of these rural areas by one government after the other. The major chunk of our resources are poured into the cities. And hence it is but natural for people to migrate there.
But the government has shown the intent that they are not keen on entertaining these people if they can't find themselves a source of living. It would have really called for some mammoth efforts to eradicate poverty from the city. Hence the government took a shortcut. They have instead start eradicating the poor.
It just leaves me wondering at the selfishness and hypocrisy of the affluent class. We want a clean city, a green city, a beggar less city for ourselves. We want the cheap labours at our home and industries. But we don't want the slums where they live. Its as if the mere reason for the existence of the poor in this country is to subsidize the life of the rich. We don't want their problems. We only want their services.
I just wish that the government reconsiders its decision. I agree that it is important to portray a nice picture of our country to the rest of the world. But do we want it at the expense of life of 1 lakh people. Think.
Saturday, August 29, 2009
Being a teaching assistant
Things have changed so much in the fifth year. Today is the last day of the first mid semester exams. We just have 1 course to do (besides thesis) in this semester. And that also has just 1 mid sem exam which is scheduled in mid September. So there were no exams for me this time. And hence there is no post mid sem fun. But this doesn't imply that I was left free this time. Since, I am a teaching assistant of a course, I'd to do invigilation during the exam. And I also had to check the exam copies of the students.
It was a nice experience to be on the other side of the examination process for a change. But when you have to check 170 odd copies, then it becomes a pain. The question which I had to check involved writing a pseudo code for an algorithm and doing its complexity analysis. So I'd to read the pseudo codes. And the more incorrect the solution is, more difficult it becomes to check. Because then you have to make sure that there is no way this solution could actually work. And you also have to point out why the solution is not working. And you also have to go through the complexity analysis of a faulty code. Now I know why teachers like good students. Its because their papers are easiest to check.
But its a good learning experience to check copies. You start realizing what kind of answers should be provided. You realize what should be written and how should it be written. I was also reminising while checking the papers. I think that I might have given some real tough time to my examiners.
To anyone reading this post, there is a request that please be considerate to your examiners. Improve your writing, write clearly leaving spaces and if you don't know the answer atleast don't write things which are given in the question. It does more harm than good. Believe me.
It was a nice experience to be on the other side of the examination process for a change. But when you have to check 170 odd copies, then it becomes a pain. The question which I had to check involved writing a pseudo code for an algorithm and doing its complexity analysis. So I'd to read the pseudo codes. And the more incorrect the solution is, more difficult it becomes to check. Because then you have to make sure that there is no way this solution could actually work. And you also have to point out why the solution is not working. And you also have to go through the complexity analysis of a faulty code. Now I know why teachers like good students. Its because their papers are easiest to check.
But its a good learning experience to check copies. You start realizing what kind of answers should be provided. You realize what should be written and how should it be written. I was also reminising while checking the papers. I think that I might have given some real tough time to my examiners.
To anyone reading this post, there is a request that please be considerate to your examiners. Improve your writing, write clearly leaving spaces and if you don't know the answer atleast don't write things which are given in the question. It does more harm than good. Believe me.
Tuesday, August 25, 2009
Rules of attraction
You may say that love is the domain of the heart and not the brain. But then you would just be saying it. Finally its the human brain that comes into action. And it acts in myseterious ways. Getting attracted to a person is something which I believe is outside our control. And the reasons for the attraction still remain unknown to me. Sometimes, its the beauty. Sometimes, its the brain. Sometimes, its the face. Sometimes, its the voice. Sometimes, its the presence. Sometimes, its the absence.
And some other times, its unknown. You know you like someone but you don't know why. And after a while that someone becomes indispensable. That someone becomes your habit. You don't realize it when that person is around. But you feel the void when they are not. The time stops and so does the brain. And you are stick with that same feeling until you see that person again.
If only there exist any rules of attraction. Because then we would have also had rules for repulsion. And then we would have not been at the mercy of our heart or rather our brain. Follow the rules and you are out of the whole thing. But as it turns out, attraction knows no rules. It happens and you know it only after you have been inflicted by it.
And some other times, its unknown. You know you like someone but you don't know why. And after a while that someone becomes indispensable. That someone becomes your habit. You don't realize it when that person is around. But you feel the void when they are not. The time stops and so does the brain. And you are stick with that same feeling until you see that person again.
If only there exist any rules of attraction. Because then we would have also had rules for repulsion. And then we would have not been at the mercy of our heart or rather our brain. Follow the rules and you are out of the whole thing. But as it turns out, attraction knows no rules. It happens and you know it only after you have been inflicted by it.
Monday, August 17, 2009
Another train journey
Who is afraid to get dirty ?
The one who is clean.
I happened to witness an incident in the train on my recent trip to Udaipur. There were 3 other passengers in our compartment, an old husband wife couple and a sister of the husband. The husband (a man in 70s) had booked the ticket for the journey. But while booking the ticket, he wrote the age of his sister as 35 whereas actually she was in her late 40s. The ticket checker came and surprisingly enough he noticed that. He asked that family to pay the price of the ticket as well penalty because they have violated the rules and were guilty of transfer of tickets. The family rightfully (this is my personal stand) refused to do so as the same person was travelling on whose name the ticket has been booked.
But the family did this the wrong way. They claimed that the women was actually 35. The ticket collecter asked them to give this statement in written. But to this, they refused. From here on things turn nasty and as happens, the others in the train (including me) were involved in the brawl. I got involved because I thought it was unjust and that the family should not have been penalized for an innocent mistake of an old man. It is India after all. Given the size of the families that we used to have in the past, its not uncommon for a man to forget the age of his younger sister.
But the ticket checker didn't think of it that way. To him it was a case of transfer of ticket (they call it ToT). He called some other TC and RPF constable on the train. And that enraged me further. Had it been some other bold and shrewd person, he would have given the necessary detail in writing. Had it been some hot shot, had it been someone powerful, the TC would not have got into the trouble of doing all this. But unfortunately it was an old couple who was afraid of the legal proceedings.
And this happens in this country all the time. Its as if the laws are not meant for the mighty and powerful. They are meant for those whom they can intimidate. They are not meant for a large enterprise which has defaulted on its loan. Rather they are meant for that farmer who couldn't repay his. They are not meant for the big shops that encroach the roads. Rather they are made for those small road side hawkers.
Conformity to the law is no more a virtue of an honest citizen. It is the rather the weakness of those who are not 'brave' enough to flout it. On one hand we have people indicted for severe crimes out in open. And on the other we have several innocents behind the bar. Weakness is the only crime. And the strength is the only religion.
But fortunately things turned out well eventually after few level headed people got involved. It was later pointed out to me by some other passenger who was a frequent traveller of that train on that route that the TC was a dead honest person and a martinet. But I still feel that he should have used his discretion rather than going by the rules. After all that is the difference between a a man and a machine.
The one who is clean.
I happened to witness an incident in the train on my recent trip to Udaipur. There were 3 other passengers in our compartment, an old husband wife couple and a sister of the husband. The husband (a man in 70s) had booked the ticket for the journey. But while booking the ticket, he wrote the age of his sister as 35 whereas actually she was in her late 40s. The ticket checker came and surprisingly enough he noticed that. He asked that family to pay the price of the ticket as well penalty because they have violated the rules and were guilty of transfer of tickets. The family rightfully (this is my personal stand) refused to do so as the same person was travelling on whose name the ticket has been booked.
But the family did this the wrong way. They claimed that the women was actually 35. The ticket collecter asked them to give this statement in written. But to this, they refused. From here on things turn nasty and as happens, the others in the train (including me) were involved in the brawl. I got involved because I thought it was unjust and that the family should not have been penalized for an innocent mistake of an old man. It is India after all. Given the size of the families that we used to have in the past, its not uncommon for a man to forget the age of his younger sister.
But the ticket checker didn't think of it that way. To him it was a case of transfer of ticket (they call it ToT). He called some other TC and RPF constable on the train. And that enraged me further. Had it been some other bold and shrewd person, he would have given the necessary detail in writing. Had it been some hot shot, had it been someone powerful, the TC would not have got into the trouble of doing all this. But unfortunately it was an old couple who was afraid of the legal proceedings.
And this happens in this country all the time. Its as if the laws are not meant for the mighty and powerful. They are meant for those whom they can intimidate. They are not meant for a large enterprise which has defaulted on its loan. Rather they are meant for that farmer who couldn't repay his. They are not meant for the big shops that encroach the roads. Rather they are made for those small road side hawkers.
Conformity to the law is no more a virtue of an honest citizen. It is the rather the weakness of those who are not 'brave' enough to flout it. On one hand we have people indicted for severe crimes out in open. And on the other we have several innocents behind the bar. Weakness is the only crime. And the strength is the only religion.
But fortunately things turned out well eventually after few level headed people got involved. It was later pointed out to me by some other passenger who was a frequent traveller of that train on that route that the TC was a dead honest person and a martinet. But I still feel that he should have used his discretion rather than going by the rules. After all that is the difference between a a man and a machine.
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