I have observed an inequality. A strict inequality. The love that the parents have for their children is always greater than the love the children have for their parents. We might never be able to fully understand our parent's feelings, let alone feel them. But they can. They understand it. They feel it. They rejoice when we are happy. And they cry when we are in pain.

The only thing that keeps me going in the hard times is the hope that someday it will all end.

Reasons I Like Books and Movies

There is a gratification that I derive in being able to understand what others want to say; in being able to relate to other people's experiences and feelings through my own experiences and feelings. Probably because it gives me the satisfaction that I understand the world better.

This is one of the reasons I like reading books and watching movies. They open me up to a whole new range of emotions, feelings and behaviours of individuals which would otherwise remain unknown. This vicarious learning makes up for what I lack in experience.I also feel happy when I think that I understand what the writer, director or the artist wants to convey. Connecting to a person's art is in a way connecting to the person himself.

The other reasons why I like movies and books is that they help me form opinions on things happening around me. I seriously feel a desire to be opinionated. And with time, this desire has actually become a necessity.

To think of it, the desire to have opinions is again linked to my yearning to understand the world, to rationalize the occurrences of the events, to give some meaning to the events that have already occurred, to differentiate right from wrong and probably also to decide upon a future course of action.

Just A Thought

I wish I could just write down every random thought that comes in my mind. I would like to see do they make any pattern ? Do they have any relation with each other or not ? To me they are completely random. Most of the times, they are opinions on the things that I encounter. But I do think there is some connection. Mostly in their nature. It is a reflection of my own mentality and mindset. There are things about me which I realize only when they are pointed out.

PS: This relation between thoughts might also have to do something with the distance between 2 vectors in a metric space.I have been reading a lot about that of late.
PPS: Just ignore this post. I am really messed up right now.

I hate eating alone

One part of being alone that I dislike most is eating alone. I totally hate it. More so if I am eating in my mess or canteen or in some restaurant. I can manage it at home but not elsewhere. I do make many adjustments just to have some company. Sometimes I used to go to mess with my friends even if I wasn't hungry just so that I am not left alone afterwards and have some company while eating. But sadly, the friends that are left don't have a great faith in regular dietary habits. Though I have been successful in making one of them go to breakfast with me everyday. But lunching and dining time has gone in disarray.

I actually used to feel the same way about living alone. I used to hate it. I needed someone's company at every time. Even while studying. Sometimes, I even used to take my books along with me and go to a friend's room. And most of the times, I used to end up sleeping in their bed. As I write this, some fond memories of my fifth year are resurfacing. There was a period when I ended up sleeping in Saucy's bed every evening. Poor creature had to adjust a lot :) .

Man, I am really missing that time those days. This is somewhat a sad ending to the otherwise most joyous and happening time 5 years of my life. I would cherish those days for ever.

In Awe of Mathematicians

The more I dwell into mathematics, the more I am in awe of all those minds who have shaped it into its present form. Mankind has really come a long way.

With a little help from my friends

I get by with a little help from my friends.

I'm gonna try with a little help from my friends.

Last 24 hours have been tumultuous. Yesterday my thesis supervisor told me that I would have to start working on a new approach in my thesis. That would have required spending at least a month more on my work which would have meant that I could not join my job on the designated joining date. Considering my aversion to join a core job and the fact that non-core jobs don't come by easily, I was feeling tensed. So I did what I normally do to cope up with such a situation. I called my friends. And they came up with suggestions that they deemed fit. The new possibilities that were shown to me by them really calmed me. Few of them called me up again in the evening to check the things with me.

I always try not to indulge my family in my problems. I know my mother gets really worried when she finds me in a difficulty. And the last thing that I want is to see her getting worried. So I gave her a rosy picture of the scenario. I was more open with my dad and told him the things as they were. His words which carry with them his experiences with the ways of the world made me realize that no matter how bad the things are, I would always have a support system to fall back on. My sister sounded jolly though I do know that she was as worried as my mother. But she did her best not to show her worries.

Today morning, I received a mail from the company HR saying that they don't have any problem with me delaying my joining and that I can join once I complete my thesis. I can't say what a relief this is. I can now start working again with a fresh mind.

But I really can't thank my family and friends enough. They are always there when I need them. I am hopeful to get pass anything with a little help from them.

Thank you all :)

The old dreams were good dreams;

They didn't work out, but glad I had them. 

Movie: The Bridges of Madison County

Nature and Emotions

The only beauty in this world lies in nature and in emotions. There is beauty in plants and in animals, in water and in wind, in earth and in sky, in sounds and in colours, in the first and the last ray of the sun, in the spots on the moon, in the constellations of a clear night.

And then there is beauty in joy and in sadness, in pleasure and in pain, in fear and in fearlessness, in devotion and in submission. There is a beauty in the union of the loved ones. There is also a beauty in sadness and pain we feel when our loved ones depart.

And whenever the beauty of nature resonates with the emotions within, the best bonds with nature are formed. A chaotic mind finds its solace in the solitude and stillness of night. A peaceful mind seeks a company in the green. An adventurous mind desires a lashing from the wind and water. An exalted mind finds happiness in the falling rain.