Pessimism over optimism ?

Is everyone more pessimistic than optimistic or is it just me? In other words, which is a stronger trait - optimism or pessimism?

I can see the pull of pessimism. It is difficult to bear when the expectations are not met. So as a safe strategy, one might set low expectations to begin with while still hoping for the best.

I can also see a charm in feeling like a victim without actually being a victim, giving a vent to all the frustration within, in the guise of retaliation.

How people pass their time on internet ?

Its been a long time since I last blogged. The desire of writing has mellowed down in the past few months. It is probably a reflection of the fact that I am comfortably settled in this 'job' life. Everything seems to be going smoothly. Too smoothly in fact to bother me to think about other things - which is not necessarily a good thing.

Anyways, the reason I wrote after this long was I was tired of sitting on the internet not knowing what to do. My browser always has some specific 2-3 tabs open. Some of them are either of the 3 news website that I follow: BBC News, The Hindu and CNN-IBN. But the left most is always Gmail. It seems like a kind of OCD - the left most tab always HAS to be gmail. If it isn't, life looks incomplete - seriously !

So, I had almost exhausted most of the news articles. I had checked all the 'updates' on my Facebook account, read few cricket articles on Cricinfo. What else can I do ? Its not a rhetorical question by the way. I would actually like to know how people spend their time on internet. I might be missing on some of the good things out there.

Observational power in girls

I might not be the most suitable person to write a post on girls and their observational powers but I still feel I have seen enough of it to actually turn my own observations into a post.

Girls in general have an immense power to notice and remember even the most minute details. This I think is the outcome of the heightened awareness of the surroundings which itself arises from the need to remain alert at all times. They notice everything from your unconscious habits to the kind of dress that you wear. They notice the way you walk, the way you talk and even the way you avoid talks.

They observe, ruminate and remember.Ask a girl that you know well, to tell 5 things unique to you. And I am sure that she would. She might even tell some things which you didn't even know about yourself and which you would start noticing from that point onwards. But ask the same thing to a boy and you would find him clueless (the later situation can particularly lend you some trouble if the asker is a girl).

Rabbits are hungry

Just stop here for a moment. What does the heading suggest you? What things would come in your mind if I write nothing and just stop here? Does the heading have any philosophical interpretations? Does it look like that Nirvana song which doesn't seem to make any sense when you read the lyrics but nonetheless create an enigma because of the very fact that someone somewhere spent some valuable write creating them and thus should be something meaningful and significant? In any case, just give your imagination a rest. Its not something philosophical.

While I was away from my city for two weeks, my flatmates brought home 2 rabbits. Now one of the things that I don't like at my home is animals littering around (yes, even the rabbits). I admire animals but only from a distance. And I dislike it when the get touchy.

From the day that I came back till today, these rabbits just run around from the mere sight of me which is very much to my liking. But today, as the fate would have it, all other flatmates were out of the house leaving me alone with them. At night came a call from one of them asking me to feed them carrots that they have purchased for the rabbits.

So I went into the kitchen, took some carrots and approached the baskets in which they are kept. When I opened the basket, one of them just jumped out and ran while the other one stayed. I gave few pieces of the carrot to the one in the basket and chased the other one to give him some pieces. But he kept running. To cut this long (and apparently boring) description short, at the end of the entire ordeal, I fed both of them, return back to my room and closed the door.

After few minutes, I came out again to find the rabbits waiting for me. They came near me to smell me, to tickle me with my whiskers and their hair.

So the point behind writing all this - even the animals appreciate the gestures. Not that it is something new but still reading it in the books and witnessing it in person is a different thing altogether. And while it still hasn't made me any more animal friendly, I for a starter have started appreciating the bond that can exist between the humans and the animals.

Side effects of job

The job has taken away my blogging. Its not that I don't have time at the end of the day to write a blog. Neither am I that tired to stroke some keys on the keypad. Its just that my mind goes blank. After doing the same mundane thing all day (and for many days in continuity), all that I am capable to do at the end is to absorb whatever is coming to me. The mental fatigue prevents any response.

I really think that I need to devote some time everyday just to myself. To think about things that I used to think. To think about where the life is heading. To retrospect the past actions and to plan about the future ones.

The only thing that keeps me going in the hard times is the hope that someday it will all end.

In Awe of Mathematicians

The more I dwell into mathematics, the more I am in awe of all those minds who have shaped it into its present form. Mankind has really come a long way.

Nature and Emotions

The only beauty in this world lies in nature and in emotions. There is beauty in plants and in animals, in water and in wind, in earth and in sky, in sounds and in colours, in the first and the last ray of the sun, in the spots on the moon, in the constellations of a clear night.

And then there is beauty in joy and in sadness, in pleasure and in pain, in fear and in fearlessness, in devotion and in submission. There is a beauty in the union of the loved ones. There is also a beauty in sadness and pain we feel when our loved ones depart.

And whenever the beauty of nature resonates with the emotions within, the best bonds with nature are formed. A chaotic mind finds its solace in the solitude and stillness of night. A peaceful mind seeks a company in the green. An adventurous mind desires a lashing from the wind and water. An exalted mind finds happiness in the falling rain.

Solace In Music

I have never find music so relaxing. I have been listening to my favourite playlist and that has rejuvenated me. It has filled me with some new found energy. It feels that all the tension and worries have been lifted. I feel more optimistic now.

Hail Indian Railways

I would have been traveling in the train at this moment. But I am not. I am rather sitting in my room writing this post. And this is because my train which was to come from Delhi is late by 6 hours. It is just so frustrating. Indian railways can really get onto one's nerves sometimes. But the good thing is that I checked the status of the train online and didn't go to station. Though had I checked the status in the afternoon, I could have actually book a bus ticket and would have reached home on time. But a lesson has been learned. Its always good to check whether the train has started from the source station on time. Most of the lengthy delays are due to delay in departure from the origin.

Another good thing about the delay is that I would now be able to watch match between England and Algeria. I have never followed any football tournament this closely as I have done this time. Credit for this goes to all those good people who stream sports live on the internet for free. Some credit should also be given to the BCCI and Indian cricket team. To BCCI for scheduling matches so closely that has jaded the spectators. And to the Indian team because their performances over the last few weeks have left me disenchanted with the game for some time to come. (Though I would definitely be watching India vs Pakistan match.)

Coming back to football, what makes tonight's match more interesting is the fact that the media had been very generous while bashing the England team after the draw with USA. And then there is a certain pleasure in seeing the likes of Rooney, Terry, Gerrard, Lampard among others, struggling. I will be cheering for Algeria in this game and would hope to see England joining the European club of losers.

A Cycle Trip

There are two images from the cycle trip which I took from my campus to the Ganga ghat at Bithoor which stand out among the rest. The first is of a narrow road which took off from the road on which we were cycling, for a place which I can only imagine. It was one of the few roads which shot off from this road. The two sides of that road were both lined by the trees. After a short distance that road turned right and got lost in the trees. It was the kind of road that gives you an impression of a village in a country side. Not the regular Indian villages with water on streets, open sewers and broken homes. But the ones with homes located at distance from each other on large sloppy grassy fields with some cattle grazing at some distances and dark woods up on the slopes. Did it remind you of the landscapes that you used to draw when you were a child ? The only thing that is missing from the scene is the river which passes passes through the village.

The second image is that of a home that I saw on my way. There was nothing particularly remarkable about this home. On a normal day I might have passed without even noticing it. But in the quietness of that cool early summer morning I did notice it. It was a modest house with an elevated facade, without a porch with windows opening directly on the road. From the door which was open I could see the interior of the house. There probably weren't any air conditioners or coolers but the home looked cozy enough. The shelves were open and there might have been a bed in the living room. There was something about the house that gave a very homely feeling. Its not possible for me to say what was it that evoked such feelings but I think we all have certain aesthetic notions and the things which are close to these notions appeal to us.

View of Ganga from a temple on the ghat

On a whole the 33 km trip was entirely worth the efforts that it took. Most part of our route passed through quiet and green neighborhood of Mandhana. Any change from the chaos of the city life is always welcome and refreshing. We will probably make another such trip. And this time I definitely intend to see where does that road go.

These things I'll Never Say

After Beatles and The Nightwatchman, its the Avril time now. I am having her songs played all day on my music player. And of all the songs "These things I'll never say" remains my favourite. I find this song very jubilant and cheerful. You can find an acoustic version on YouTube.

Its so true, isn't it. And here I am not just talking about not being able to say what you feel to someone you like. Even in general, there are many things that we want to say. But we can't. We don't. And may be we shouldn't. Not always.

This thinking of mine is an evidence of our mentality in general. Our here refers to we people who share the same cultural background. It is almost considered a virtue if we keep things to our self, if we avoid confrontations. The situation is so much different in the West (here my observation is restricted to US culture). I see this in the English TV serials. And I also felt it when I was in NY last year. People there just speak up whatever is there in their mind. And other people don't mind it. At least not for too long. But we do. I do and I did and its because we are not used to such blatant expressions of our thoughts.

I am not making any comparisons as to what is good or what is bad. Sometimes its important to keep things to our self lest it causes some irreparable damages. And some other times, its important to speak up your mind. Otherwise these things start to eat you from inside.

We do have our outlets to vent out our latent exasperations from time to time. Sometimes we talk about them, sometimes we write about them. I would like to write about many such things. But then there are many things that I wouldn't share with everyone. And thus there remains many things that I'll never say, to anyone.

A cloudy night

Against the backdrop of the moon, a clouded sky looks so much more animated than a clear sky. Clear sky insinuates the stillness. It hides the cosmic chaos and transpires tranquility to the onlookers. It makes you realize its vastness.

The stars look so close but are yet so distant. It must be really lonely up there. No one is in the vicinity. No one is in the reach. There is a separation of a light year from the nearest kin. There is a restlessness there. With each passing moment, the entropy increases. The star is doomed to fuse into its core, eventually bringing its own demise.

But all that we see is a gleam. We rejoice while it burns. The twinkle hides its sorrows. The air screens the heat. And the distance prevents the realization.

The clouds on the other hand are gregarious. They love their lot. The sky is their playground. They chase each other. They embrace each other. They disperse and then assemble. They take shapes and create designs. The moon is their pal and the wind is their guide.

The clouds fill the sky with their colours. They are white and violet and black. And when they cover the moon, you can see some yellow too.

The clouds seem to contain the sky. The make the space look finite. And they look so delicate. If only you could reach them, you could crumble them.

But they are not delicate. They are mighty. They could hide those giant stars and the moon. But the creator was prudent in not vesting them with the supreme power. Else they would have been been too proud. They would have lost their cheerfulness.

The almighty let the wind control the clouds. But he also let the earth control the wind and the stars control the earth. This way he induced symbiosis into the whole structure. He was able to preclude tyranny. One could thrive only with the mutual cooperation. He inscribed this message in all his creation. If only we could read them.

What's up ?

Have you ever had a phone conversation (or rather a face to face conversation) with a guy who goes blank after some time and leaves you wondering whether the phone has got disconnected and am I talking to myself ? Well, I am that guy. Not always. But sometimes, I really find myself at loss of words. Its not a ploy to make the other person leave the phone by boring him to death. Its because sometimes I can't find anything to speak and all that is left is 'Whats up ?' and 'Aur batao..'. These words are a great tool to shift the task of carrying the conversation on the shoulders of the other person. Its quite a spectacle when you find the other person just like you. Under such a situation, I feel obliged or compelled to say something, to break that silence. But again, all that I could mostly conjure is 'Whats up' . Long stays at the hostels can really do this damage to your social skills. Proper civilized conversations are a rarity these days. You can discuss, you can debate, you can gossip but you can't converse. Plus, the hostel life could sometimes be so monotonic that you don't have anything to talk about.

I really admire girls in this regard. They surely can talk. And all those who I know can definitely talk at length. They make you realize how happening their life is. There are so many things going on with them each and every day. But then, if you really think, most of the things they talk about are day to day stuffs. Things that are happening everywhere with everyone including me. Its just that they are good enough to involve them in the conversations. I on the contrary can't do that. But I would like to be able to do that. Its just that right things don't pop up in my mind at the right time.

Rakhi Ka Swayamwar

All this buzz about Rakhi ka Swayamwar finally compelled me to see this one of its kind show. To describe it, there are 2 words - Nautanki unleashed. You know everyone is faking it, the anchor, the contestants and Rakhi Sawant of course. And at times, the show with its background score, contestant's idiotism and desperation and insincere sincerity could be really hilarious. Though I don't think that this comic element was anytime intended. I think that for contestants, its just a plaform for achieving the instant fame. I don't think that anyone of them including Rakhi Sawant is interested in marriage. Its just the glitz and glamour that they are after. The news says that the show is enjoying quite high TRP. In that case, I do think that we can expect a second season.

Drink for Mallya

I would request all the drinkers and even the teetotalers to have atleast one drink for India's liquor barron Vijay Mallya. After all he did what the what the governtment couldn't do. In a much talked about auction in New York, he paid $1.8 million to purchase some of Mahatma Gandhi's personal belongings. Its really appaling to see so much drama created for the belongings of a man who himself led a life of austerity. The reserved price for them was between $20,000-$30,000 but owing to the hype created in the media, the final price was $1.8 million. The items belonged to some James Otis, a Californian who is follower of Gandhian philosophy. Despite of him willing to pull out of the auctioning and the Indian government registering their reservations, the auctioning firm went ahead. Despite of Indian government going all the way to get Gandhi's personal items removed from the auctioning, they were finally put under the hammer. We could not stop a firm from getting the belongings of the father of our nation auctioned. Its really disgusting to see how much leverage India, the country of 1 billion people has in US.

Breaking News..

Breaking News: Harry Potter lives on................
After months of excitement, this was possibly the least expected ending for my curiosity. For quite a time, I had avoided reading news concerning Potter series in the papers so as not to accidently step on to any speculations. But I just couldnt manage to avoid the news. All the channels were flooded with the news of the endings. Some of them had even got some speed readers so as to be the first one to tell the ending. It seemed that all the television world has been swooped by the wizard who survived.

Same kind of scenario could be witnessed when the millenium marriage of Abhishek Bachchan and Aishwarya Rai took place. The news was everywhere. It seemed that all other news have dried up. No deaths, no disputes, no burglary, no politics. Only the Abhi-Ash marriage.

There was a time when I use to wait for the news at 8 (the times when I used to watch Doordarshan). All the happenings of the day put up succintly in half an hour. But slowly with the advent of 24 hours news channel, whole scenario changed up drastically. The whole journalism thing seems to lose up its motive. The only motive now is to grab more and more viewers anyhow in the cut-throat satellite television industry. Every news is tried to make sensational. No human touch left, everything is pure business. Griefs and miseries are shown but they are always attached with the tag of exclusive. And in this race of being exclusive, they have tried everything, sting operations(sometimes genuine and sometimes framed), shows showing fradulent sadhus being beaten up, crime reporters and so on. And in all this, they have even compromised their quality. The calm and poised Salma Sultan, Shammi Narang, Tejeshwar Singh have been replaced by the modern day theatrical heroes and heroines which could be seen confronting all the interviewees with the same cliche 'Kaisa lag raha hai aapko'. It doesnt make any difference whether they are interviewing a winning captain or an ailing widow. They are just professionals. They are no longer carrier of the public consensus. They are merely the informers.

But I wouldn't definitely take all the credits away from them. There have been times when they have stirred up public opinions for a socially good cause(like in Jessica Lal murder case). But more and more such initiaves need to be taken. They have to become a medium for carrying out the public discourse, a medium to carry voices of the individuals to the masses, a medium for providing unbiased information to the people. They are the pillars of democracy and they need to function well in order to keep the great democratic engine going.