And finally it rained..

For a change, it was not a hot wave of wind that woke me up in the morning. It was a cool moist breeze. And few minutes later, it was raining. The much needed respite finally came. For the past few days, this was the main topic of conversation, whether in mess or with friends. There were heavy drops for few minutes and then there was a light drizzle. But it was sufficient enough to bring down the temperature. For most part of the day afterwards, it was cloudy and humid and I was feeling more comfortable outdoors than indoors.

Rest of the day was same. Though in the afternoon, I was a bit worried that all this period in idleness could destroy the remaining grey cells of my brain. So I started solving some puzzles from techinterview for the placements. And it really felt nice to exercise the mind after that long time. I have always felt that the reason I loved preparing for JEE was that it was challenging and one really had to strain his mind to reach at the solutions. All those questions of mechanics, probability, integrals were like puzzles. There was no one principle to solve all the questions. One really had to work out. And this is one thing that I hate about IIT education. Many a times, you don't even have to understand things to reach at the solution. You have a formula and you even have a calculator. And sometimes, you can't even find relation in theory and practice. I really feel that in the past 4 years, my mind has rusted.

It seems that team India is back to its old ways. The eight wicket defeat was really embarrasing. Though it could have been worst had Dhoni and RP not forged that ninth wicket partnership. Except for Dinesh Karthik, all other top order batsmen fell playing some loose shots. Jadeja again never looked good enough for the highest level. Though I still think that it would be too early to make any judgments and that he should be given few more chances. But the best part of the Indian innings was the way Dhoni batted. He was not looking fit for a T20 match, but in the ODI, his style of batting is really looking handy. It was really nice to see mails from his supporters on Cricinfo.

And after a brief haitus due to 'A passage to India', I have again started reading. This time, I am reading 'Lucky Jim'. The novel is pretty light and comic and is also listed in the Time magazine's list of 100 best novels from 1923-2005('A passage to India' was listed too but I really found that book quite boring). I am hoping to finish it in the next few days.

Thats it for today. Bye.

The girl on the station -- A short story

A sudden rumbling sound woke him up. He raised himself to look outside the window. The train was now passing over the bridge. The river underneath was shallow and calm. He could see some washer men at the distance engaged in their daily chores. There were also some children playing, busy in their own world. The sound changed, the speed of the train increased. It was the morning time and there was a cool gentle breeze flowing outside. He found himself shivering. There was an urge to close the window but he didn't. He enjoyed the feeling of wind brushing against his face. His eyes were misty, his hair were flowing.

It was around 7 in the morning. He sat up. His station was about to come. He was finally going back to his home. It had been 4 months since he last went back. The semester turned out to be pretty hectic. He was totally consumed in the projects and assignments. No more mess food now, he thought. Suddenly he remembered about the last night. He remembered the waiting room, he remembered himself glancing here and there, he remembered her. She was sitting right in front of him, at the other side of the waiting room, resting against the wall, book in her hands, backpack against her legs, her hair unkempt, half asleep and half awake. At first he found her shabby. But there was something about her that captivated his attention. He looked at her again. No, she wasn't shabby. She was just laid back, casual, carefree, unaware of the happenings of the world. She had found a nice comfortable place in that chair.

The voice of the vendor disturbed his chain of thoughts. The vendor was selling the sandwiches. He thought against eating them. How was the pantry ? How was the cleanliness ? How was the cooking material? He hadn't even brushed his teeth. But he was too hungry to give any consideration to his thoughts. And more than that, he trusted his Indian stomach. It had digested many indigestibles in the past and it could surely digest these petty sandwiches. He ate the sandwiches and felt pretty contented. He felt at ease and next he found himself thinking about the happenings of the last night.

He was reading some classic written during the British Raj in India. He didn't like the book that much. But he had already finished half of it. So he was in a dilemma as to whether strain himself reading the other half or let the time that he had spent reading this half go into a drain. He had a lot of time to spare before the train would arrive and he had nothing to do. It was then that he spotted her. And after some time he was staring at her. When you keep looking at something, your perceptions just change from time to time. She had turned from shabby to laid-back to pretty. He was trying to figure out what she liked about her. And the next when he saw her, she was awake. He was engaged in his thoughts and he had not noticed that. She gave him a strange look and in the haste, he just gazed in the book. Had she seen him staring at her ? Or was that the look she gave to every stranger ? How she could have seen him ? But girls know you are staring at them before you know that they know. They really have this sixth sense or something.

The train had halted on a station. It was the station just before his station. He would probably reach his station in next 5-10 mins. It was not a regular stoppage. The train would have stopped for a crossing. How he hated these crossings. He always felt that the train in which he was travelling is made to stop. What would it take the government to build double tracks through out. If that could be done, then no train would ever get late. People would stop calling IST as Indian Station Time. And one would not have to wait in those crowded waiting rooms. But those waiting rooms can become an interesting place sometimes. Atleast on the last night, he didn't complain of those waiting rooms.

He looked above at the fan. He looked at the entrance. He looked at the bunch of kids playing around. And every time he did so, he tried to catch a glimpse of her. He didn't want to look straight at her again. He didn't want that glance again. But he could not resist. She was now combing her hair. Was she getting ready to move ? His train was also about to come. Could she be going in the same train ? Wouldn't it be great if that could happen ? And then she again looked back at him. But this time, his eyes didn't waver. He looked back at her straight into her eyes. He again got a look. And he liked it this time. It was a gentler look. Apparently she had not taken any offence this time. And then she looked away. Did she smile ? He thought she smiled and then he smiled at that prospect. He again started reading the book. But he didn't remember what he had last read. He turned some pages back. He then looked ahead and found her leaving the waiting room. He decided to follow her but he had his backpack all opened up. He tied it up quickly and got out. He looked here and there but couldn't find her. Announcement of his train was made. He decided to go to the designated platform.

The train arrived. And suddenly the platform was crowded. There were people hurtling towards the general coach. There were these porters looking out for some potential customers. There were these vendors selling their items, shouting in their highest pitch. There were people who were struggling to find their right coach, inquiring the people sitting on the window. There are never any signs distinguishing one sleeper coach from other. And then there were people coming in and out of the train. The concentration of the people was more on the doors of the coaches. People could really do with a little more patience. All of them wanted to be the first one to enter as if otherwise they would lose their seat. He waited for a while and just when he was about to enter he thought that he saw her. He looked sideways and there she was. But there was this overwhelming screaming at the back that he had no other option but to move on.

The passing train stirred him up. There was this sudden gush of air hitting him on his face. He could see the windows and the doors. He envied the people sitting inside the other train. After few minutes his train started to move. He started putting all his belongings in his bag. He wished that he could see her again. The rush at the end didn't allow him that last look. He wished to see her one last time so that he could preserve her image in his mind. So that he could narrate her to his friends. So that he could savour those moments as and when he like. The train slowed down as his station came. He stepped down and started to move towards the gate of the station. The train had already started to move. He stopped for a while to look back. But then he realized that he didn't want that last look. He preferred the haze, for sometimes the reality is not as beautiful as one has anticipated. He was contented with his image of that shabby girl. And so, he moved on.

Casualty of T20

After a fortnight(well not even a fortnight), Indian cricket team is back in the business in the West Indies for the 4 ODIs. First of all, whats the sense of having 4 ODIs. You should either have 3 matches or 5 matches so that the series is decided under all circumstances. But I guess 3 is too less and 5 is too much. Thats why the boards have settled for 4 matches. Or it could be that the rhetoric of everybody is a winner is catching up. I once read a nice quote about it. It said that whoever said that statement must have been a loser. Well enough of crap now. I am digressing from the topic.

So here I am in my room following the match on Cricinfo. Live matches on the TV is a luxury that we can't avail in the hostels. Its been quite a long time since we had an ODI. Firstly, there was the IPL and then the T20 world cup. And now, I really can't feel the passion with which I used to follow the ODIs earlier. You look at the scoreboard and see 80 runs in 16 odd overs. It looks so slow. 50 overs have suddenly started to seem as too many. And devoting 7 hours for a single game seems like a waste. It is too early to say but it appears to me that ODI would eventually lose to T20. The calculated and patient 50 over game is really not a match to the fast, roller coster ride of a T20 game. ODIs can become one sided. In T20, you only need one good over to turn the game in your favour. The games are very often quite close. The margin of victory is 15-20 runs.

Test cricket, however, I feel would remain unaffected by this. Test cricket has its different niche. It has its own fans and followers. It was always a different type of cricket, one where the premium was always on skill and stamina. As said by many, it would always remain one the greatest spectacles of sport. Althought, the growing number of T20 matches have definitely reduced the frequency of Test mataches played every year. But neverthless, it has maintained its charm. And as for the ODIs, only the time could tell now where does it future lies.

An excursion to facebook

Last night I spent around 2 hours on the facebook. Its really the thing these days. Orkut has become passe. Everyone is now coming to facebook. Earlier surge in the traffic to facebook was because it was more secure. On orkut, you could just see all the details and photographs of all the people. And by people, I really mean girls. It used to be our wing's recreational activities during the exams. A bunch of us, visiting albums and rating girls(I am over those days now). There were many communities devoted specifically for this task. But then, orkut implemented all those privacy restrictions and the visitors have been declining ever since. Many of them have switched over to facebook. I am not sure whether they realize that orkut is more safer than facebook these days. There are many bugs in facebook and some of its applications can infect your computer.

Just coming back to last night's excusion to facebook. I really don't like facebook that much. With all those upadates and games, its so much cluttered up. Then there are those weird requests. There is a request to gift some flowers, there is some person who is giving me his mafia loots and there is a person who wants me to be a PETA fan. And to top it, there are these weird applications. 'Which friends character are you ?'. 'When would you die?'. 'What kind of lover are you?'. 'What would be the first letter of your lover's name?'. 'How will you meet your lover?'. 'When would you meet your lover ?'. 'When was you lover born?'. Just so much of rubbish to deal with. And its really surprising to see the number of people that take these kind of quizzes. It seems as if the whole world is running here and there in search of their true love. I am sure even they realize that its not how they would find it. Some people do it for fun. Some others do it out of curiosity. However vague or absurd the results may be, atleast there are some results. Then there are some wise people, enlightning others with their wise one liners. There are some others who provide us with their daily details.

And then there are some addicts who give their hourly detail. You know what is their favourite colour, who is there favourite actor or actress, how much mark did they score in their exams, where did they go last evening. They are living their second life there. I really admire these social networking sites. Afterall it has reduced my telephone bills, it has put me into contacts with those long lost friends whom otherwise I would have never met. Then there are communities that you can use to build some connections. And most impotantly, it gives you a space to express yourself. But I just don't like spilling each and every detail about your life. And I definitely don't like all these requests. Thats why I like orkut. You login, check your scraps, message someone if you have to, wish someone on his birthday and log out. Plain and simple. Thats how I like it.

More weather updates from Kanpur

Weather wise the situation didn't improve today. The afternoons are infernal. I had to go out today at 3 in the afternoon for some friend's work. And it was hot as hell. However, there were some trees along the way. So most of the time I was walking under their shade and then running when directly under the sun. Trees really are important. We had been studying this since eternity. I remember writing few essays during the school time about it. But we do tend to forget it every now and then. But today I got the reminder. I remember my childhood days. We used to go to our native place(Kuchaman city, Rajasthan) during the summer breaks. We have a huge neem tree at the backside of our house. Its even taller than our two story house. In the afternoons and in fact for most part of the day, there used to be no electricity. So we just used to sit under its shade. After coming into the college, I don't go there often now. Last time I went there 2 years back. But I still remember that tree clearly. We used to sleep on the roof at night. At the night time also it used to make us aware of its presence. If there was a breeze, then you could hear its leaves rustling. And if there was no breeze, we used to just lay there, battling with the mosquitoes, cursing the tree, wondering why it isn't blowing. The evening was humid today. So even a bath today didn't provide any relief. Its a very dangerous combo. Heat and humidity. I didn't even like the touch of my own body. I just sat there, ensuring that no part of my body touch other. I think that if it remains this much humid for a day or two, then we can expect some rain. For the time being, just praying to the rain gods.

Summers

Its just getting hotter and hotter in Kanpur. The afternoons are really getting unbearable. You feel hot with clothes. You feel hot without clothes. And with so much of hot air that it circulates, sometimes I feel like switching the fan. But there is this trade off between hot circulating air and sweaty body. So I let the hot air win. And as soon as you get outside the room you can just feel hot air gushing. All I feel like is drinking water and bathing. By the way, I have starting bathing 2-3 time a day daily. Courtesy, these summers.

We have a centrally cooled library, but I really don't like going there. First of all, you have to go there in that hot afternoon. Then you cant listen to music there which is kind of frustrating for me. Then you have to sit on a chair all the time. You just cant lie down there, something which I do every half an hour. And then there is that coming-out-of-library phase. The temperature difference feels so glaring that you start wondering why you went inside at the first place.

Its getting difficult to sleep for long duration at a time. Even the bed feels hot most of the time. Many a times, I just wake up due to sweat. I cant even sleep late in the morning nowadays. And I just cant sleep earlier at night. So you can see the problem there. Although this time, we are at least living on the ground floor. In our second year, we had to spend the whole summers on that top floor. And that was really dreadful. Although, there were many of my wing mates with me at that time. So it just used to be fun. This is something that I am missing this time round.

I am really looking forward to monsoon. I just love monsoons. The smell of the earth before the rain falling, all the guys coming outside their rooms to enjoy that shower, the light drizzle that you can feel on your face when you are under a shade, the raindrops hitting you like pebbles when you are under the sky. At home there used to be added attraction of Pakoda-Chatni. India really is an incredible place. We have food for every occasion. The only part which I hate about the monsoons though is the roads oozing out the heat after the shower. But that is really no big thing. I am just eager to get myself drenched in the rain. India also needs this monsoon real badly. Else we will see some serious crisis in this crisis-ridden land.

Pakistan wins T20 world cup :(

This is just miserable. I was not that upset when India got out from the world cup. They deserved it. But I am really upset now after Pakistan has won. It was the last team after Australia that I would have liked to see winning the world cup. But again, I think they deserved it. This win by Pakistan, to me, looks so much like the Indian win last time. Both the teams were underdogs. Both the teams had players who were capable of giving good individual performance. And both the teams played together as a team to win the cup.

Pakistan played well and performed when it really mattered. It was a surprising come back after their defeat at the hands of the English side. To start with, they were a rusty side and the press conference after their first game really confirms my assertion. I am sure that even Younis Khan would not have believed in his chance at the beginning as was clear from his attitude in that conference. But the Pakistani players just gained their momentum from there on.

It was quite an easy journey for them to the semi finals as the only test team that they had defeated till then was New Zealand. And had they been defeated by South Africans, it would just have been a matter of luck favouring their way by giving them easy draws. But their win over Sri Lanka and South Africa, two of the best sides in the tournament really makes them a deserving winner. Boom Boom Afridi got his batting form at the right time. This guy always surprises me. After having started as a batsman, he moved on to become Pakistan's best bowler. His faster ones are really fast and he has quite many bowling variations in his armoury. Umar Gul was terrific to the extent that people doubted about the bowl being tempered after the reverse swing that he was obtaining. I don't know how much truth is there in it but regardless of it, his performance was fabulous.

Saqlain Mushtaq, it seems, had an everlasting impact on Pakistan. Many Pakistani spinners have tried to emulate him with Saeed Ajmal being the latest one in the list. He along with Amir and Razzaq really made Pakistani bowling line up formidable. For Razzaq, it was really a dream run. After having to forego his international career for a while due to his association with the ICl, it was really the kind of performance that he would have wanted. He has definitely consolidated his position in the Pakistani line up.

And this win also gives me a good opportunity to criticize the IPL once again. After having said by many that IPL will be a good practice ground for the Indian team, the tournament was finally won by a side that had no participation in it. Fitness of the player, it seems, can never ever replace anything in the game. I hope that before the next world cup, the Indian side has a good rest and all the players would play with 100% match fitness.

The perfect silence

When have you last experienced the perfect silence ?

In a temple ? No, there are always bells ringing and people chanting.

In a mediation room? No, there are always some people who are moving around out of restlessness.

In a class when the teacher demanded to maintain a pin drop silence ? No, we were always disobedient. The more we were told, the more we used to talk.

On a morning walk ? There are always birds singing and people jogging.

On your bed, waiting to get asleep ? No, there is always an insect that is chirping and then there is a fan whose voice is noticed only when you cant sleep in spite of your best efforts.

In a library where you are not supposed to talk ? No, people always do things that they are forbid to do.

While writing an exam? No, your mind is too chaotic to observe silence.

I experienced it last during a conversation. I know it sounds both ironical and absurd but that was really when I last experienced it. While conversing, when you just dont know what to talk about. I thought it was best to let silence fill the gap. There was no restlessness. It was smooth. I just sat looking towards the ground. Trying to look at infinity. Trying to appear thoughtful. I wanted something to happen, someone to disturb me. And at that time I didn't hear any sound of a fan. I just felt an obligation to say something. That was when I experienced that perfect silence.

Secularism and Casteism

I have been meaning to write this post since quite a long time. And by long time, I mean the time before the fateful general elections were held, time before we witness one of the most dominating majority in the Lok Sabha in the recent years. It was the time when all the parties and alliances were battling it out for each and every Lok Sabha seat. It was the time when the allegations and counter allegations were at their zenith. BJP accusing Congress of 5 years of weak and inefficient administration. And the Congress calling BJP a non secular party.

Secularism. Its the word that has dominated the Indian politics since the time Lal Krishna Advani decided to embark that Rath Yatra. The word which was echoed again and again when Babri Masjid was demolished and when communal riots broke out in Bombay. The word which has reverberated in the corridors of Indian politics since the country saw Godhra burning. All over the place, there were hues and cries to form a secular government at centre. Alliances were made and broken because some parties were more secular than other.

So what does secularism means ? Wikipedia says that secularism is the assertion that governmental practices or institutions should exist separately from religion and/or religious beliefs. I alternatively think that it means people should not be discriminated against or favoured on the basis of religion. All religions are equal. But in the recent years, a new variable has emerged which has made it necessary to revise this definition. And this variable is caste.

Caste is the new religion. And if not, it is definitely as important as religion the reason being it is the main divide among the people. You are no more a Hindu. You are now a Dalit or a Yadav or a Jat or a Gujjar or a Meena or a Patel or a Reddy or a Naidu. And it was really appalling to see how a politician like Mayawti can call herself secular or how a party like Congress can tag itself as a secular party after having divided the country through reservation. How is Congress more secular than BJP. Its not that I endorse Barbri Masjid demolition or the Gujrat riots. I mean that religion is no more the parameter for calling a party secular.

Casteism is the modern day equivalent of non secularism. It was the casteism which saw Gujjar taking on Meenas in Rajasthan. Names are no more the identities. Surnames are. You listen a surname and the first thing that comes into your mind is caste. Casteism was inherent to the Indian society for centuries. But it remained at a sub conscious level. But the political parties have brought it into our consciousness. Rulers of our country might not have realized the repercussions of playing that reservations card. But as a student I have realized it again and again. I realized it when I saw students taking on students on reservation. And I realize it every time when I hear the words "reserved category". Why are these people so adamant at diving us ? What is the cost that our country is paying for this imbecility ? What our country really needs is a government which is truly secular.

Team India Zindabaad !!

What has IPL given to the Indian cricket team ? It has given an injured Sehwag, players whose capabilities are blown out of proportions based on their performances against the minnows of domestic circuit and an over confident team. It was really pathetic to see team India playing. The performance was poor, miserable, wretched. I am falling short of adejectives here. After having defeated Bangladesh and Ireland in the first round of the world cup, India lost their real games. And rightly speaking, a team which could not achieve a target of 154 didn't really deserve to go to the semi final round. The team failed in every department. The Indian pacers never looked in a position to contain the oppositions' batsmen in any of the games. And the batsmen made heroes out of pacers like Stuart Broad and for that matter Pollard in game against West Indies. And their treatment to the short pictched deliveries was really shocking. However due credit should also be given to the English pacers for continuously bowling that short pitched length and coming up with good bouncers in nearly every over, something which their Indian counterparts failed to do. Except for Yuvraj and Yusuf Pathan, the Indian batting line up looked rusted. Ravindra Jadeja was unable to accelerate the innings at a time when it was really needed. He was even unable to rotate the strike. And the pressure developed led to Gambhir giving away his wicket. I am sure that an 'elderly member' like Sachin would have done a much better job. All the pre tournament suppositions as to how the South African IPL experience would help the Indian players to get accustomed to the similar conditions in England just failed. Dhoni in particular didn't look like remotely like a batsman he used to be when he started his international career. It seems that too much of cricket really has done some harm to him. But as our dear Mahi says in that Aircel advertisement, its the time to move on.

Why we hate Australia ?

First of all this is not meant to be a hate speech as a reaction to the recent instances of attacks on the Indians in Australia. Although I do condemn what has happened there and think that people should now get out of their illusion of superiority. But this is not what I want to write about. I am here talking about the Australian cricket team. After their ouster from the T20 world cup, I was happy. I was ecstatic. After seeing the result, there was a punch in the air and some brief shouting. And I am sure that most of us were wanting it really badly.

So why do we hate this Australian cricket team ? Why do we want to see them getting defeated ? Why does that dismal and disarrayed face of Ponting gives you that immense satisfaction that all those who hate that team must have felt ? A reasonable argument is that it is because its a team that has won 3 World cups, has dominated test cricket like anything, has produced some of the most finest players in cricket and that they are the most potent challenge to India's rise to the top in the world cricket.

But is this the reason that we go till the extent of celebrating their failures ? I think that there is more to it than this. I think that this hatred is the accumulation of all those moments when we have seen them resorting to anything to win that one match, the moments when we have seen them disgracing some of the most graceful and elegant cricketers, their incapability to accept the their defeat to and to allow their opponents to savour their moments of glory. You see their arrogance. You see them sledging the players, you see them tussling with the umpires. I don't say that other teams don't resort to these things. They do but not as often and as regularly as Australians. And I also don't say that I don't like sledging. I like it for the fact that it has added the spice and that X-factor to that yesteryear's game of the gentlemen. But I don't like it when I see Andrew Symonds sledging young Manish Pandey in an IPL match or when I see Michael Slater sledging Dravid for asking for a re look at a catch where the ball did touch the ground. Its the moment like these that fills you with hatred against them. I don't hate their guts. I just hate their attitude. And now when they are out it really doesn't matter to me as to who wins the title. Although I would always vouch for the Indian side. So best of luck to the Indian side. And I do hope that we get to see some breath taking close games, something for which T20 is renowned.

Dor

Exquisite. Thats what I would say if I have to give the review of Dor in 1 word. Simple, beautiful, elegant and moving. Its a movie which carries you along with it. When I see movie like this I really feel that there is so much potential in the Indian cinema which is yet to be realized. In the times when most of the movies present you with exotic foreign locations and story with which you just cant relate, here is a movie which takes you to the valleys of Himachal and the deserts of Rajasthan and has a story which is very much original and refresing and makes a great use of the Indian settings. The story is about two women Meera (Ayesha Takia) and Zeenat(Gul Panag) whose lives intersect because of an incident which makes it necessary for Zeenat to find Meera. And to top that only thing that Zeenat has to find the whereabouts of Meera is a photograph. But that is just the first half of the movie. The best part of the movie starts when Zeenat finds Meera. Thats where you see the contrast between a confident and unwavering Zeenat and a shy, suppressed and dogmatic Meera who by the action of the destiny is holding the dor controlling Zeenat's life. You see the predicaments of Zeenat. You see the fight that Zeenat and Meera are fighting with themselves. You see Zeenat helping Meera to come out of the cobweb created by Meera herself and her family. The interpersonal relationship between Meera and Zeenat has been depicted beautifully by Nagesh Kukunoor. Gul Panag and Ayesha Takia look stunningly beautiful in their simple looks and have played their characters superbly and Shreyas Talpade is really refreshing. Its a movie which was hailed as one of the best movies of 2006 and is surely a must watch.

Solitude is vicissitude

Finally, all of them left. I had wish that the moment could somehow be delayed. I just wanted the things to remain the way they are for as long as possible. It was really depressing to see off Kush and Shanu in the morning. I think today I get to know how Mummy feels every time I come back to hostel from home.

A void has come in the life. And this solitude is biting me. All I see while walking through the wing is closed rooms. I had thought that once all of them were gone, I'll start with my studies. But I really didn't feel like studying today. The wing doesn't look the same as earlier. I am missing those frequent knocks at the door, that evening phatta, those annoying gtalk buzzes, those PJs, that spending time in other's room. I am really missing my friends. I spent my noon reading the novel and playing scrabble with Saucy on facebook. In the evening five of us went for that evening stroll. And after that it was just me, Saucy and Vatshy at my room. I got the glimpse of what the life is going to be in the fifth year. I think it will take me a day or two to get accustomed to this new environment. Its really the time to move on.